Codependency & The Enabler

Codependency causes great hurt even when the intention of the codependent person is to keep the peace. The codependent person gains control through manipulation and hurt follows. Follow the link on the title of this post for more information.

Spirituality for Adults in Crisis

Your daily thoughts and meditations are important in how you stay centered in life and positive. There is a great post on this if you click on the title to this post.

Unconditional Love

There are many ways in which people define love. Some define love as a feeling you get that gives you butterflies and a strong physical yearning the other person. Some define love as acts of charity and unconditional regard. How do you see this? Has your initial definition back-fired and ended in your being manipulated or fooled by the person that you thought loved you? Feelings are the driving force for many who end up in intimate relationships. There are many abusive people that rely on this to charm their partners before showing their abusive sides. Using clear objective criteria for evaluating people can help you to discover your true soulmate! Feelings are great but emotions make us lose our mind!!!

The strong feelings will come after you objectively assess that the partner can be trusted with your vulnerable side. When you can fully let go with another person, you will truly experience the feelings of a lifetime!

How You Feel Is Not Necessarily Who You Are!

There are many people that confuse their feelings as a description of who they are. This causes a distortion in self-image and can contribute to Depression and other mental health conditions.

I have outlined ways to objectively discern between thoughts and feelings and how a rational approach to living can help change thoughts and feelings to positive affirmations. Relationships with others are enhanced when we can put have negative feelings and turn them into positive action steps to rationally engage what is contributing to these feelings. Solve problems and move on from those things that you have no control. Life is too short to stay stuck in the mud!

Kissing

The kiss is one of the expressions of love that couples share passionately in the honeymoon phase of a relationship but infrequently use as a means of affection as the relationship becomes stagnant with insecurities and jealousies. Woman or men may start to love too much while their partner becomes unaffectionate. For a relationships to remain monogamous, an emotional connection must remain intact between couples. The kiss continues to be the one act that helps couples to connect emotionally.
Please click on the links to learn techniques on how to perform the different kinds of kisses below?

Angel Kiss Butterfly Kiss

Cheek Kiss Eskimo Kiss

French Kiss Hickey Kiss

Hot/Cold Kiss Neck Kiss

Nibble Kiss Shoulder Kiss

Upside Down Kiss Vacuum Kiss

Wave Kiss

Tell him or her what you see!

There is no better way to demonstrate respect than to describe to your love one their unique qualities and characteristics. I bet you can find something very unique to him or her. I will give you some to choose from.

Loving
Resourceful
Sensitive
Athletic
Brave
Cheerful
Intelligent
Coordinated
Thoughtful
Graceful
Generous
Elegant
Truthful
Playful
Strong
Sexy
Exciting
Decisive
Thrifty
Creative
Fun
Vulnerable
Attractive
Committed
Considerate
Affectionate
Handsome
Reliable
Gentle
Tender

Go ahead, make their day!!

Relationship Legacy

What will you want others to say about you when you are gone? What would you want the epitaph of your grave stone to say? Many times we wait too long to assess what qualities we and others value and respect. If we only could have only assessed our good and bad characterisitcs early in our lives and made changes to reflect that perfect epitaph.

The need for validation in a relationship

How many times have your thoughts, feelings, and behavior been ignored by people in your life. When you have a disturbing thought or situation in your life, has someone tried to get you to resolve the issue and move on before you were ready?

For relationships to stay strong and healthy, each person in a relationship must recognize and demonstrate understanding of the other's thoughts, feelings and behavior. We must also demonstrate these skills with our children, or they will grow up invalidated and unable to sustain healthy relationships. Many people do find relationships to be difficult and invalidating in our society.

We need to change this trend and role model validation. That does not mean that we accept people no matter what. With validation must come change if behavior hurts people. You will see more success moving someone towards change if you validate where they are presently.

Positive Regard

How about those moments when we are connecting with a soulmate when each of us communicate positive regard for one another. We let the other know how much we value them and we tell them how unique and important they are to us. Remember the second and third dates when you talked all night and did not want the night to end. Sharing our values and acknowledging the importance of one another is vital to forming a strong relationship and keeping it healthy.What have you told your significant other to show positive regard? What have they communicated to you?This is the kind of communication that will sustain a healthy relationship.