Irrational Relationships and Parenting

There are circumstances within a family’s composition that
leads a parent to act in irrational ways. This, in turn, can contribute to the child’s irrational thought processes. Did you know
that close to sixty percent of families were headed by a single
parent in 1994? Did you also know that 75 percent of families
with children had both parents working? These numbers demonstrate the various roles and challenges parents take on today.

Did your parents take on job and social roles that took their attention
away from you? Many parents are forced to work because of the
costs to raise a family. In some families, both parents work in the
pursuit of more material wealth. Each endeavor is admirable as
long as the family is grounded in a morality that places importance on the relationships within the family unit. A child who
experiences rejection from his parent due to these factors will
make attempts to redirect the parent’s attention. If this fails, the
child will find other means to meet his needs, many times acting in maladaptive ways to cope with the stress in his life. He
may demonstrate addictive behavior, social withdrawal, or
even violence.

Hurtful Personalities

How many times have you taken or heard about a personality test and thought what a bunch of hogwash! There are literally hundreds of these tests, which many times are used to explain or describe behavior in people. The biggest problem with these tests is the tendency of the user to use the results to excuse his or her behavior. One of the themes of this book is that people are responsible for their behavior no matter what!! Descriptors for personality types are used to help us understand what drives our good and bad behavior. We are responsible to know our dark sides and to put safeguards in place to minimize our hurtful behavior.



One of the biggest challenges that you will face will be to recognize your destructive behavior, especially during times that you feel justified in your actions. Are you not justified in “giving the finger” to someone that cuts you off on the freeway? How about when you tell the “know it all” that he or she is full of it? You have to admit that these responses to others feel pretty good! How can you change a behavior that feels so natural and is done without much thought?



I will be commenting on these types of hurtful personalities in the weeks to come.

Relationships based upon three virtues

Relationships are based upon three virtues that determine healthy versus unhealthy relationships. Many times we get caught up in the feeling of a relationship that we become blinded to what is really happening in the relationship.

The criteria for determining the healthiness of your relationship is as follows:


a. Love – unconditional acts of kindness or generosity that do not require any response.

b. Respect – The ability to appreciate and bring out the unique qualities of another person while placing value on their opinions and abilities.

c. Honesty – The act of telling the truth and ascertaining the truth about you. (introspection)



Caveat – Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse are always wrong and never justified.