Conflict Avoidance

We live in a world where conflict avoidance occurs at work, in schools, in public places, and with world leaders. This "codependent" behavior does nothing to raise the bar of thinking and solving problems. This lack of honesty and respect towards one another is erroding the moral fiber of our society and creating a new culture of moral relative thinking and subpar performance.

The relationships in this country are marked with conflict avoidance or violence, which results from unsolved issues that mount to explosiveness. If our children are to have a chance in changing this pattern of behavior and thinking, parents, and school personnel must go back to problem-solving activities for problems that occur. Suspensions and detentions only provide consequences and do nothing to address problem situations.

Integrity vs. Despair

The last developmental stage is late adulthood. The goal of this stage is to leave one’s life with few regrets. The core struggle is between integrity and despair. In this stage of life you must be able to utilize your rational thinking and spirituality in order to maintain your integrity during the final years of life. You must be able to repair the hurt in your significant relationships in order to leave life with few regrets.

Without the stress of children, work, or other daily commitments, you have a great opportunity to give back to others in your relationships by following the virtues described throughout this chapter. You can choose from the list of behavioral expectations and atoning strategies from each developmental stage. You could even serve as a role model for others, helping children, adolescents, and adults to meet their developmental milestones by encouraging them to adopt this type of virtue system in their lives. The elderly should not wait for a knock on their door to demonstrate virtuous behavior. They need to take the initiative to promote their wealth of knowledge and experience and show that they find value in those who are younger than they are. This is not a time for older people to be self-absorbed with thoughts of their dying or their medical conditions.

Relationship Advice For Mending Hurt

To enhance your relationship skills, you need to gain more insight
into the human condition. You now possess a structured outline as
to how you can begin to relate to each person you come in contact
with. You will need to show your talents and abilities to others and
have them do the same to you.

Adults need to feel productive and leave behind few regrets.
You may feel very dependent upon others, have no real sense of
your morality, and feel very stagnant in your life. Your relationships
up to this point have not been grounded in love, respect, and
honesty. Your irrational thoughts will be hard to change because
your instincts will be to look at the negative aspects of your relationship
when a conflict arises. You will need to trust this new virtue/atonement
process and stick to it each day.

You will need to evaluate how the stress and barriers in your
life impact your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. You cannot use
any of these life situations to excuse the hurt that you cause
another person. Your tendency to view stressful situations in
irrational ways will be a constant struggle for you. You will need to
understand what contributes to your stress and learn how your
body signals stress. Once you develop the ability to recognize
stress, you can put safeguards in place to work through the stressful
event without acting in ways that hurt another person. The key
will be to remember to communicate in ways that emulate love,
respect, and honesty. When you fall short of the mark, your atoning
behavior will help to repair the hurt that you cause in your
irrational state.

What causes you to experience stress? What are the physical
and emotional signs that show that you are experiencing stress?
Many people have learned to adapt to higher levels of stress and
do not understand the signals their bodies are sending. Laptops,
cellular phones, and other technologically advanced equipment
have led to less down time for people. They end up pushing themselves
to their limits each day and develop more irrational
approaches to counteract the physical and emotional results of
stress. Caffeine, anti-anxiety drugs, antidepressants, illicit drugs,
and other artificial performance-enhancing substances are in the
hands of more people today than ever before. These substances
provide users with a false sense of emotional security. Are you
becoming numb to the chaos around you? In order for you to gain
the ability to think rationally, you will need to be able to identify
signals of stress from your body and your emotions and to react
to these signals in rational, healthy ways.