Do Yoda Proud: Meditation 101

Meditation refers to a state where your body and mind are consciously relaxed and focused. Practitioners of this art report increased awareness, focus, and concentration, as well as a more positive outlook in life.

Meditation is most commonly associated with monks, mystics and other spiritual disciplines. However, you don’t have to be a monk or mystic to enjoy its benefits. And you don’t even have to be in a special place to practice it. You could even try it in your own living room!
Although there are many different approaches to meditation, the fundamental principles remain the same. The most important among these principles is that of removing obstructive, negative, and wandering thoughts and fantasies, and calming the mind with a deep sense of focus. This clears the mind of debris and prepares it for a higher quality of activity.

The negative thoughts you have – those of noisy neighbors, bossy officemates, that parking ticket you got, and unwanted spam– are said to contribute to the ‘polluting’ of the mind, and shutting them out is allows for the ‘cleansing’ of the mind so that it may focus on deeper, more meaningful thoughts.

Some practitioners even shut out all sensory input – no sights, no sounds, and nothing to touch – and try to detach themselves from the commotion around them. You may now focus on a deep, profound thought if this is your goal. It may seem deafening at first, since we are all too accustomed to constantly hearing and seeing things, but as you continue this exercise you will find yourself becoming more aware of everything around you.

If you find the meditating positions you see on television threatening – those with impossibly arched backs, and painful-looking contortions – you need not worry. The principle here is to be in a comfortable position conducive to concentration. This may be while sitting cross-legged, standing, lying down, and even walking.
If the position allows you to relax and focus, then that would be a good starting point. While sitting or standing, the back should be straight, but not tense or tight. In other positions, the only no-no is slouching and falling asleep.
Loose, comfortable clothes help a lot in the process since tight fitting clothes have a tendency to choke you up and make you feel tense.

The place you perform meditation should have a soothing atmosphere. It may be in your living room, or bedroom, or any place that you feel comfortable in. You might want an exercise mat if you plan to take on the more challenging positions (if you feel more focused doing so, and if the contortionist in you is screaming for release). You may want to have the place arranged so that it is soothing to your senses.

Silence helps most people relax and meditate, so you may want a quiet, isolated area far from the ringing of the phone or the humming of the washing machine. Pleasing scents also help in that regard, so stocking up on aromatic candles isn’t such a bad idea either.
The monks you see on television making those monotonous sounds are actually performing their mantra. This, in simple terms, is a short creed, a simple sound which, for these practitioners, holds a mystic value.

You do not need to perform such; however, it would pay to note that focusing on repeated actions such as breathing, and humming help the practitioner enter a higher state of consciousness.

The principle here is focus. You could also try focusing on a certain object or thought, or even, while keeping your eyes open, focus on a single sight.

One sample routine would be to – while in a meditative state – silently name every part of you body and focusing your consciousness on that part. While doing this you should be aware of any tension on any part of your body. Mentally visualize releasing this tension. It works wonders.
In all, meditation is a relatively risk-free practice and its benefits are well worth the effort (or non-effort – remember we’re relaxing).

Studies have shown that meditation does bring about beneficial physiologic effects to the body. And there has been a growing consensus in the medical community to further study the effects of such. So in the near future, who knows, that mystical, esoteric thing we call meditation might become a science itself!

Online Dating Can Be Tough

Here’s a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys: Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man. Are you surprised? It’s true…and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world but we’re talking about internet dating here…so back to the subject at hand.

Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women. Yes, it’s a woman’s world…still. It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.

Remember…confident and interesting….and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things…not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile….please don’t start it with, “I’m the guy your mama warned you about”.

You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line. Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”. The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that…so don’t insult her intelligence. Remember….exude confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for…or she will find you.

Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything? If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen.

Promoters: The Limelight of Everything

Promoters are people with strong social skills. They are very good at winning over people, crowds, even enemies. They enjoy being in the lime light.

A promoter will always be eager to please others especially if they give them attention for their outgoing, friendly ways. They also enjoy the recognition from other people and generally get involve with things they would excel to be the best in. Quick thrills and fast-paced action motivates them.

When they deal with people, they will generally try and sell themselves to others and even try to win their point of view if it differs. Often, in spite of their outgoing and winning personality, people may perceive them as show-offs, manipulative and like to use other people.

Most of the time, they tend to disregard the feelings of others. They do not know they have offended someone even though they thought it was a really funny joke (normally to gain the attention of others at the expense of the poor friend).

A promoter may also appear to others as overly attention seeking, liars and over exaggerate events or stories to get the attention of others.

They are people who respect strength and will often trample over weaker people.

If you are a promoter, you will be:

A person who uses openness to build trust
Likes applause, sincere feedback and being the center of attention
A person who embraces excitement and risks
Responds to personal challenges coming from other people
Tends to save effort
Likes to gain visibility and exposure in the eyes of others
May appear over-committed but under-deliverWill be influenced by anything that appeals to them emotionally

Little Things Mean Alot

The biggest myth in romance is that you must pull off something big and extravagant so that your efforts will matter. The truth is that what will impress your loved one the most will often be the little things.

Little things are rather simple things that you do for your loved one. Despite the fact that they are "little" they can mean so much. Your loved one will be touched that you took the time to show him or her that you care so much. You will be considered thoughtful. All of this plays very well when wishing to be romantic.

Consider your loved one’s heart to be a basket. The basket wants to be filled. When you shower your loved one’s basket with many, little gifts, the basket will be filled and your loved one will be content and feel loved. It is as simple as that!

Considering the importance of every day little things, think about some new romantic ideas.


Just for today:

* Pay your loved one a compliment, such as how awesome they look.

* Give your loved one a strong hug just because.

* Pick a bouquet of wild flowers and present them with a kiss.

* Massage their back and/or feet at the end of a work week.

* Leave an "I love you" note on their pillow.

* Call spontaneously at their work to say “I am thinking about you.”

* Place your arm around your loved one in public.


Remember, when you take the time to be thoughtful and attentive today, this can usher in more intense romance later on.

Which Category Do You Fall Into

Which Category Do You Fall Into?

Are you?

PEOPLE ORIENTED or TASK ORIENTED?

In other words, do you feel more comfortable dealing with task, schedules, objects, projects, and results? OR do you feel more comfortable dealing with people, groups and peers?

DOMINANT or EASY-GOING?

Do you find yourself always wanting to be in charge, in the lime-light and finding things to take over? OR are you the more laid-back, relaxing, don’t mind, complying attitude?

NOTE: Don’t Think too much! Just take the 1st answer that pops up in your mind!

IF YOU ARE:

INFORMAL + DOMINANT, YOU have a PROMOTING STYLE

FORMAL + DOMINANT, YOU have a CONTROLLING STYLE

INFORMAL + EASY-GOING, YOU have a SUPPORTING STYLE

FORMAL + EASY-GOING, YOU HAVE an ANALYSING STYLE

STILL CAN’T DECIDE which categories you are in, ASK the person who spends the most time with you and chances are, you belong in one of the 4 styles above.
Now that we have established your typical behavioral pattern, let’s see how we can get you to deal with your date in the posts to come!!

Don’t Grow Apart…Grow Together

There are as many reasons for divorce, as there are married couples! However, you might be surprised to learn that one of the most common reasons for divorce is nothing as dramatic as spousal abuse, or drinking or drug addiction.

Many couples just grow apart. This issue is very common in couples that marry young, and it is easy to understand. At age eighteen or twenty, a blushing bride or proud groom has barely come adulthood, and is certainly not mature.

Interests and direction are still evolving. And, when that evolution begins to slow and the couple find themselves in their thirties or forties, they may suddenly discover that they have grown apart.

Though many young couples think that romance will keep them together forever, a solid relationship – one that will last for thirty, forty or fifty years of married life – is based on friendship, common interests, romance and much more.

If you find yourself at age forty with nothing in common with your spouse, you may feel like strangers. Maybe you’ve run out of things to talk about – other than your children – or you find yourself alone on a Saturday afternoon, trying to remember what to say.

This is not to suggest that you must buy a rifle and get to a practice range if your husband is an avid hunter. Nor should a husband take up gourmet cooking if that is his wife’s hobby. Though, some really dedicated husbands and wives HAVE taken on the challenge of jumping in with both feet!

If you want to give that a try, more power to you! Just be sure that it doesn’t backfire. If you decide to acquire a new interest or skill just to please your spouse, be sure you are really committed to this idea or you will end up resenting your spouse for the time and effort you invest.

And try not to waste the investment by abandoning the activity. Your spouse will be very happy to know you have taken an interest but, if you drop out, it will look as though you really didn’t care all that much!

Here are some other ideas you can consider, if you are looking for ways to share your interests and bond with your spouse.

If you don’t want to take on something that interests your spouse, and jump in with both feet, you can still ‘share’ your thoughts and let them know you noticed what is important to them.

For example, clip an article out of the paper on your husband’s favorite football team, or record a TV appearance by your wife’s favorite actor. Better yet, read a newspaper article about something that interests your spouse and talk to them about it over dinner. Ask them questions about what you read and what they know about the topic and watch their face light up.

Listen to your spouse talk about their favorite subject or hobby and, instead of shutting them down, try to hear ‘clues’ in what they say about what makes them interested in the subject.

Talk to them about what YOU find interesting in the subject. For example, if your husband belongs to a book club and he always talks about the books he is reading, ask him about his favorite authors or what kinds of books he likes best – mystery, suspense, sci-fi.

If you can’t share the interest, at least show your spouse that you respect and honor it. Register your gourmet cook spouse in a local session with a famous chef or find a website or a recipe you think will interest them.

A particularly effective and favorite way to develop a common interest is to look at what interests the both of you now. Then try to find a common area or a ‘type’ of activity you both like.

An example might be if both of you like sports, but you don’t have a sport in common.

Perhaps you bowl and you work out at the gym, and your wife runs. So, you are both in good physical condition and you both like to be active. Maybe you’d like to take a sailing course together.

Eventually, you might even buy a boat if you both like the activity. But, for right now, start small.

If you both like music and there is one kind that you both like, buy tickets to a concert and go see the artist.

Or, plan a day in the city to go to a museum that has exhibits you may both like. Your spouse will gladly walk through the exhibit he does not like, to get to the one he DOES like and you’ll get to time to talk to each other as you wander around.

Along the way, you will rediscover the things you love about each other and the things you already have in common. And together you might just develop some new interests!