http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/ Articles at Relationship Advice Articles en-us http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/attracting-women-reading-the-body-language-signals.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/attracting-women-reading-the-body-language-signals.html Wed, 17 Dec 2008 00:00:00 -0800 If you are unsure and you are out with a mate, and he’s been nearby casually observing how things are going with you and the girl you are chatting to, make an excuse to leave the girl briefly and go talk to him. Find out his opinion on your progress and whether he thinks the girl is keen on you. He’ll soon be able to give you the heads-up.
A very blatant form of rejection, or potential rejection (apart from her ignoring your initial smile and eye contact advances), is if she either turns away from you when you first approach her, or she crosses her arms and/or legs. These are both very defensive gestures that offer up a barrier. It will be pretty evident that she is not open to anything with you at all. Of course, you could try to persist in these circumstances and attempt to break down her barriers, but how much time and energy have you got, and how much of your vital resources do you want to waste on somebody offering you negative body language?
With that important point mentioned, we’ll stick with looking for the positive signs from this point on.
The first and obvious signal you have already had at this point is her return eye contact and smiles. You then advanced to the next level of actual physical contact with the casual placing of a hand on your shoulder or arm as you spoke.
Casual touching like this means you are closely situated. She obviously doesn’t mind you being in her personal space. That’s an excellent sign. Obviously moving away and keeping her distance is the exact opposite.
If you are sitting beside each other and she starts touching your leg, that’s an even more positive sign that she is keen. A leg touch is more personal than a casual pat on the arm or touch of the shoulder. If she does happen to touch your leg in this manner, try returning the touch the next time your speak. Don’t reciprocate instantly. Leave a decent break of at least thirty second before trying the return leg touch. Make the first touch as casual as the placing of your hand was on her shoulder. If she doesn’t seem to object to you touching her thigh, add a bit of a stroke to the next touch, but still keep it brief. Work your way slowly from there. Make the touches more personal and lingering. If her interest is escalating, she’ll do likewise.
Never be so crass as to try to fondle her breasts or other private parts in public. You could just look too sleazy, and even if she’s keen on going home with you, she doesn’t necessarily want to look like a slut in front of her friends or others. Have some decorum and subtly. There’s plenty of time and opportunity for that stuff when you are at home alone together. You can quite properly close the deal on a girl without the need to publicly molest her.
Some areas of body language are quite obvious to read. The subtle, smaller ones can be trickier. That’s why it is important to read some books entirely devoted to the subject. Or search out a DVD to watch body language examples in action. It’s a very interesting subject regardless of the dating game.
A lot of body language has to be read in clusters, rather than forming a solid opinion from just one action.
Here’s a simple example. We expressed earlier that if a girl you are chatting to is smiling and making regular eye contact, then she’s most likely keen. True, if the rest of her body language is backing that up. However, if the girl who is doing the eye contact and smiling is sitting there with her arms crossed in a defensive gesture, then the most likely answer in this scenario is that she is not interested and is probably just being polite.
So, to illustrate the cluster of this example in a positive situation, this is basically how things will look.
She is smiling and making regular eye contact. Her body is positioned toward you and not away from you (she can have her legs crossed for the sake of decorum here – it’s not necessarily negative). Her hands and arms are not crossed but in a relaxed pose, say resting comfortably in her lap. Or, alternatively, she is regularly doing the touchy-feely thing with you.
With a cluster of positive signals such as this, it’s safe to say that at the very least she is comfortable in your presence and at least wants to be friends with, or friendly to you.
The more touching she does (and allows you to do), and the more she allows you inter her personal space, are suggestions that she’s quite physically keen for something. Especially when the touching becomes more personal; like a stroke of the thigh. Or something really obvious like kissing.
Another little thing to look out for. Say she has a glass of wine or is sipping from a flute of champagne. If she starts to run her finger up and down the stem of the glass while you are interacting, it can be a sign that she is sexually interested in you. Any sort of stroking of a phallic symbol like this is a very positive indication of what’s on her mind. Provided other forms of positive body language are present.

]]> http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/7-tips-for-single-woman.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/7-tips-for-single-woman.html Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:00:00 -0800
First of all, DON’T PANIC. Remember:

* There is no shame being single!
* Marriage is not for everyone!
* No need to marry a fool!

Marriage is not the destination for the entire human race. Being single is not a sin; you can choose to remain single, as long as it makes you happy.

Always remember why you want to get married: to find somebody who MAKES YOU HAPPY and be happy with him for the rest of your life.

Marriage is not for your parents, although your parents might want to just grab somebody on the street to finish this job.

Marriage is for your friends. Why you care others’ voice more than the one from your own heart?

Marriage is not for saving face: there is no shame being single!

Marriage is not just another step in your life, just like going to college, finding a job or getting promoted. Trust me. It is a turning point in your life!

Marriage is not finding a patron or a living ATM: it is an enjoyable journey for you and another soul.

Marriage is not putting a beautiful dummy beside you: beauty is just a skin deep and will fade in years.

Marriage is not to get Children. Children are its natural result, not the purpose.

Marriage is not to get sex. You can get sex without marriage!

Marriage is not to get married. No need to marry a fool!

A bad predicament possible is being married to someone you do not love. It will cause no end of grief and complications in your life.

An even worse living hell is being married so someone you do not love. Life is too short to waste this way! ]]> http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/how-to-attract-a-woman--the-best-ways-to-handle-physical-contact.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/how-to-attract-a-woman--the-best-ways-to-handle-physical-contact.html Sun, 05 Nov 2006 00:00:00 -0800
Often men just “go for it” and consequently end up making the girl feel uncomfortable or even slightly violated because of their rushed attempt at physical closeness. Other men decide they don’t want to risk putting a girl off, so hold back any kind of touching or bodily contact – doing so usually sends out the wrong message, that the guy is either not interested in the girl, or that he’s simply too timid to show it, neither of which are attractive scenarios in the mind of a good-looking, fun-loving girl. Okay, so what’s the solution to this awkward problem?

Quite simply, you just need to follow a few basic rules or procedures, all of which conform to the personal boundaries of most girl (and therefore don’t appear uncalled for or rushed) but at the same time clearly indicate that you’re a confident guy who’s not afraid of getting to know girls and even showing it through casual, relaxed physical contact. So, let’s take a look.

1. Many men think that touching a girl in any way when they first meet them is an absolute no-no. But that’s simply not true. To form a positive, strong first impression and create an immediate bond with a girl when you first introduce yourself or get talking, casually and gently touch the outside of her right arm while at the same time verbally expressing something. The outside of a woman’s arm is not intimate enough a place for the touch to feel strange or out-of-place, but at the same time it’s a clear-cut sign that you’re a personable, socially adept kind of guy. Don’t be afraid to give it a try – you’ll notice the benefits immediately.

2. Once you’ve started a conversation with a girl, or when you randomly find yourself chatting to a woman you really like the look of, it’s important to keep up the physical contact. Doing so helps maintain the bond and rapport you’ve already created and also helps build it further, into mutually felt sexual attraction. You can use something called ‘Stealth Tactility’ to do this. Quite simply, stealth tactility involves making physical contact with the girl in a disguised way. For example, if she wants to go to the bar or bathroom but doesn’t know the way, you can use stealth tactility by placing your hand on her shoulder, drawing her in a little closer, swivelling both of your bodies round until you face in the right direction, then point past other people or obstacles with your other hand to where she needs to go.

3. Lastly, always try to use a ‘contact close’ when you finish your conversation with a girl. For example, after swapping numbers or arranging to meet again, give her a kiss on the cheek or a hug and a kiss. Many men think that the hard work’s been done once something’s been arranged for a later date, but making physical contact before you part with a girl is always a great way of ensuring she remembers you and really cannot wait to see you again.
]]> http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/kissing-for-passion.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/kissing-for-passion.html Mon, 23 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0700
How? Well, kissing isn't just about the mood; it's about the underlying chemical reactions going on within, too. There are actually chemicals going through us when we kiss. The scientific reason why kissing feels so good is that intense feelings of attraction and passion cause a surge of chemicals in the brain (not unlike those you get from something like skydiving, or even a good bout of exercise). These are called neurotransmitters, and when they latch on to certain "pleasure receptors" in your brain, they can trigger those super good feelings that make you happy and giddy at the same time.

This explains why when feelings of passion love are absent, kissing may still create a pleasurable physical sensation, but not that extra spark that makes it an incredible and memorable experience.

So when you say that 2 people "have chemistry," it's not just a simple figurative expression after all!

Let me tell you my story of how passion makes kissing all the more special.

I remember this one girl I used to date, Beth. The first time I saw her, there were definitely neurotransmitters latching onto pleasure receptors in my brain, because I was totally blown away by her upon seeing her. She had a slim, graceful beauty that was punctuated by the brightest, greenest eyes I've ever known. Forget electricity; they could brighten up a room all on their own! I felt like I was in a movie when we first met: it was like one of those frozen moments in time when all you see is, literally, the girl in front of you. I was truly amazed.

We first met at a little party I was invited to by my friend Mary, and Beth was all I could keep my eyes on all night. We had instant rapport, and I knew I was going to see her again. Setting up the first date was never so easy, and a few nights later, we met at a nice, intimate Indian restaurant in midtown Manhattan.

Well, that first date went swimmingly, and I mean that in the full sense of the word: Not only were emotions sweeping through my brain as we talked like friends who knew each other for years, but it was also pouring rain outside! After finishing dinner, we went to one of my favorite underground lounges (though it's not so hidden anymore), just off Ninth Avenue. Between the emotional rapport we were quickly developing and the alcohol we were imbibing even quicker, chemicals were

As it was a weeknight, though, it was finally time to go home. Isn't it just like work to get in the way of wonderful emotions running through our head? :) Anyway, the rain was still dropping, while our emotions were rising. I knew that if I was going to have a first kiss with Beth, it better be good.

When you know you like someone, when you feel the chemicals running through your skin and you just know you have to express your admiration (or love, as the case may be depending on how long you've known each other), you can't just peck someone on the cheek. Especially if the feeling seems to be mutual (as it was with Beth), you can't simply kiss the object of your interest: you have to intimately, passionately smooch him or her!

And so it went. Standing outside on Ninth Avenue, waiting for a cab to send Beth home, I knew it was now or never to show Beth I felt something for her. No available cabs were coming, and that was a good thing: There was one of those silences between us that just screams, "Show me how you feel." I decided to use it as a time to act. I held Beth's hand, looked deeply into her eyes, and led her under a canopy where we could stay dry. The lead-up to the kiss was so rife with emotion and urgency, that it's really hard to describe the actual process. Talk about chemistry!

Well, I feel like "passionate" doesn't do justice to the kiss we had. In fact, it wasn't really just one kiss...it was many, that lasted for a good, full hour all in that one same place! Talk about a Hollywood movie scene!

But when you feel passion for someone, that sort of thing isn't much of a surprise. Embrace the chemicals in your brain, and take notice of the emotions running through your date, and passionate kissing won't be far behind. It's all about doing what feels natural. And man, it feels good! ]]> http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/the-art-of-body-language.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/the-art-of-body-language.html Sat, 26 Aug 2006 00:00:00 -0700
The eyes are the window to the soul. They will always betray what a person is thinking, if you’re deft enough to pay attention to them.


I’m going to share some secrets about eye contact with you that is going to help you meet women like crazy. I hope you’re ready for them, because I’m really spilling the beans here.


Are you ready for it?


Here they come…



Secret #1: The Vertical Scan


This is a major body language cue, and one that is hard to pick up if you’re not paying attention. Think about a woman you’ve seen that you found attractive. What did you do? Catch one look at her face, then looked down over her body, going from head to foot, right?


In short, you were checking her out.


Women do the same thing. When they see a man they’re attracted to, their eyes will go from his face to his feet, because they want to see the whole package.


When you make eye contact with a woman, look at what her eyes do. If they flick downwards, guess what? She just checked you out!


She liked what she saw in your face, and wanted to see the rest of you. It doesn’t matter if she looks away immediately afterwards, because she was attracted enough to you to check you out. That, my friends, is a major signal that she will be open to you approaching her (especially if the vertical scan is followed by a smile!).


The only problem with this great signal is that it’s so easy to miss! Women you haven’t noticed yet may have already done it. Also, it’s such a quick action, you can easily miss it if you’re not careful.


So when looking for the eye scan, always pay careful attention!


Secret #2: The Horizontal Scan


This is one of my favorite body language cues, because when this happens, you know you’re in the home stretch!


This usually occurs after you’ve been talking to the girl for a while, you’ve successfully attracted her, and it’s time to kiss. When you look deep into her eyes, you’ll see them flicking back and forth as she looks from one eye of yours to the other, trying to get a read on you.


When you see this happen, go for the kiss right there! She’s ready for it!


Secret #3: Dilated Pupils


I’ve mentioned this one before, but I’ll reiterate it here. A woman’s dilated pupils is an unconscious attraction response. The wider the pupils, the more attracted and excited the woman is getting.


You’ll know what you’re doing is working when you look into a woman’s eyes and notice the black iris part is rather large. This is commonly referred to as the “Doggy Dinner Look,” that you’ll see in cartoons when a dog is silently begging for it’s master to feed it.


The problem with dilated pupils is that other factors can affect its interpretation. For instance, if it’s dark in the room the two of you are in, her pupils will naturally dilate to let in more light.


By the same token, if the woman is drunk or using drugs, her pupils will be dilated as well, because other stimulants are working to excite her body. So be aware of the different factors at play when reading your target’s pupil dilation.


Secret #4: The Eye Contact Test


I think you're really going to like this secret, because I'm going to share a little trick with you that I've developed that really makes it easy to meet a woman.


Too often, guys are simply too nervous to approach a girl because of the extreme amount of uncertainty involved. Think about it. What runs through your head when you want to meet a woman?



• "Am I her type?"
• "Does she have a boyfriend?"
• "Will she find me attractive?"
• "Maybe she's too busy to meet anyone."
• "Will she be receptive to me talking to her?"



I'm sure you can think of a 100 more things that run through your mind when you see an approach opportunity come your way.


If you get scared or nervous when this happens, it's because of one thing:


UNCERTAINTY.


You don't know how the girl you want to approach is going to respond! So your scared because the outcome MIGHT be negative!


Well, worry about this no more, because with this little trick I'm going to share with you, you'll never have to worry about a negative reaction again.


This little trick is so simple, ANYONE can do it! And it's a 100% fear free tactic.


We all know that eye contact is important, but something funny happens when we make eye contact with another person. We become COMPELLED to respond to them in some fashion. When it comes to women, you can use eye contact to find out if she's open to meeting you. In fact, in a way, she'll be opening YOU!


So here's what you do...


The next time you see a woman you want to meet, LOCK your eyes on her! Seriously, just stare at her eyes, even if she's not looking at you.


When people are out and about, they will usually look around to keep aware of their surroundings. This is an unconscious thing we all do. Eventually, the woman you're locking onto will look around to scan the area.


When she comes to you, her eyes will invariably meet yours, and you'll be locked in eye contact.


When that happens, simply SMILE at her.


If she smiles back, guess what? She's OPEN TO YOU MEETING HER. If she doesn't, then move on to someone who is.


And when she does smile back, say "Hi!" And if she responds, you're in! Go right into your opener.


I like to use this tactic in low-key situations, like grocery stores, coffee shops, book stores, etc. Even though it can work just as well in bars (as long as the light is high enough that she can actually SEE you!).


Often times, after you smile, the girl herself will say "Hi!" and then the rest is easy.


The next time you go out, do this to every woman you see. Lock your eyes onto them and see what happens. I guarantee you, you'll be surprised by the results. ]]> http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/what-attracts-women-101.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/what-attracts-women-101.html Tue, 27 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0700 clueless to whatever it is that attracts women. In fact, some
reports contend that women are so hard to comprehend that even
if men master how to decode their body language, still, they
just could not understand women, in one way or another.

According to some studies, 3 out of 10 men are can attest that
they really understand women.

The remaining 7, you ask? They are out in the haystack finding
needles. This means that almost 70% of the men population in
the U.S. contends that whatever they do, they still could not
figure out how to understand women.

For this reason, men are having a hard time to figure out what
attract women sexually and romantically in a relationship. 6
out of ten men attest that women are so unpredictable that what
they thought women are attracted to, they suddenly realize in
the end that it is not the right things after all.

So for those who are still confused, dazed, and perplexed on
what attracts women, here is a list that could serve as your
guide if you want to know how to catch your girl's attention:

1. Women are not attracted to "nice guys"

There are instances wherein some guys thought that in order to
attract women, they must be good looking, smells really good,
dress really good, and projects a goody-two-shoes image.

What these guys do not know is that, in reality, women are more
attracted to men who project "bad-boy" image rather than those
who are nice. This is because most women find nice guys
relatively boring and uninteresting as compared to those who
are funny and confident about themselves.

Surveys show that 30% of women value personality most. Though,
this does not necessarily mean that women prefer nice
personalities. What women would rather have are men who have
lovable personalities brought about by their sense of humor and
confidence.

The point is that some clinical studies done to uncover the
truth about men and women revealed that men are, generally,
more concerned with their looks, while women are more into the
character and the way men behave around women.

2. Women are attracted to things that cannot be initially seen
by the human eye

This goes to show that innate things, those that are not
constrained by physical boundaries and limitations are what
really attract women. Women are more concerned with what they
cannot see literally. This could refer to personality traits,
behavior, and attitude.

No wonder why most women would rather date a man who has good
personality even if the guy is not good looking or he does not
have a car.

3. Women are more attracted to men who knows how to handle
themselves quite well

The problem with most men is that they are very egoistic that
they are more focused on what the public would see them.

On the contrary, women are not so much on what makes a man but
rather on how man makes out of himself. For instance, women are
not concerned on the physical attributes of a man but more on
how the man takes care of his body.

Another example, if a particular man is rich and famous, it may
hold some possible attraction between the man and a woman.
However, this will not guarantee that women will opt to have
the rich and famous for a relationship. If the woman will be
able to perceive how this man manages his finances well, then,
that is the only time the woman will pay attention to the guy.

The point here is that material things like wealth, looks,
physical attributes, education, influence, power, etc., still
do matter. However, it these do not necessarily mean that these
things are everything that a man needs in order to be attractive
to women.

The truth is that in order to attract women, men must,
generally, have nice attitude and personality. It is only when
men make women feel that whenever women are with them, they
would feel safe and secured.

Given all that, women and men view of the concept of attraction
varies considerably. This goes to show that if ever a man would
like to attract a particular woman, he should set aside his own
point of view and interest, and instead, try to work out in
order to catch the attention of the woman.
]]> http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/what-do-you-recommend-for-male-pattern-baldness.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/what-do-you-recommend-for-male-pattern-baldness.html Sat, 03 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0700 typical male pattern baldness for the past few years from a
family history of hair loss and the use of steroids on and off
over the years. Though I would like to follow your
recommendations from your site, is there any single formula you
could recommend that might include virtually everything? I know
there are literally hundreds of new products out there claiming
incredible results, but I don't know who to trust, which is why
I come to you. Can you help me?

Josh Brandies, London UK.

A: Dear Josh, In fact, there is a single formula for hair loss,
or male pattern baldness (MPB) that has virtually everything I
would recommend and them some! The product is called Proxiphen
and is produced by a Dr. Proctor out of Texas. Dr. Proctor is
probably one of the foremost experts on MPB and one of the good
guys in an otherwise shady industry. If you read my book Priming
the Anabolic Environment, you may recall I mention Dr. Proctor in
the "Avoiding Side Effects" chapter. Proxiphen contains
minoxidil, as well as the prescription agents phenytoin and
spironolactone (a topically-effective antiandrogen) SODs, copper
peptides, TEMPO, PBN...over a dozen active ingredients in all. As
far as I am concerned, Proxiphen will grow significantly more
hair on people than any other agent or formula currently
available.

Another plus is that Dr. Proctor never sits on his success with
Proxiphen in that he is constantly adding new compounds to the
formula if he feels they show promise for MPB. The only thing I
would probably recommend in addition to Proxiphen would be 1mg
per day of Finasteride (Proscar). The combo of Proxiphen and
Finasteride should grow hair on just about anyone in my view.

Ok, now for the bad news. Ok, it's not really bad news but it s
something you will have to take into consideration and deal with.
Because it contains prescription agents, Proxiphen can only be
dispensed on a physician's diagnosis of hair loss. This is not
as big a deal as you may think, but you will have to see your
doctor to get an official diagnoses of MPB. You do not have to
travel to TX to get it, but your Doc will have to communicate
with Dr Proctor for you to obtain Proxiphen. Dr, Proctor does
produce non prescription products that may also be worth a try,
but none of them will be as effective as his prescription based
product. Dr. Proctor can be contacted at 800-926-1752 or
713-960-1616. ]]> http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man.html Fri, 02 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0700
POSITIVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
When asked the question “What is the first thing you notice when you see or meet a man?” some of the responses included:

Probably his eyes - "the windows to the soul"; then his butt, for sure!

I like bigger guys. But I also notice white shirts and if a guy is clean cut.

Visually, his height/build (I like 'em big) Personality-wise, intelligence and sense of humor rank high with me.

I always notice the eyes and overall cleanliness first. He doesn't have to be in a three piece suit but just clean, not stinky or wearing holey clothes. A great smile doesn't hurt either :)

Left ring finger, teeth and smell and in that order. If I see a man is married, I rarely give him a second glance. If he’s single I look at his mouth to see if he has straight teeth (I had braces at 40 years old, so I guess I expect straight teeth from grown men) and finally his scent. I absolutely adore the smell of cologne on a man.

Well the first things I usually notice are his eyes and sense of humor. Then if he was someone I was dating, I observe how he treats his mother.

OK don't laugh, but I guess I noticed teeth because I was a dental assistant when I met my husband. Oh ya, I also tried to check out his "package" but it was very hard to tell if anything was there!

His smile and physique.

Conversely, there are some things about a man that are an instant turn off to the gals.

NEGATIVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Long hair, bad breath, body odor, "wimpy" or fem appearance.

Generally any kind of unkempt appearance.

No little tiny ones, short in height that is, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass by those gents who are vertically challenged.

Fuzzy sweater teeth and scuffed up, unpolished shoes. Dirty hands, dirty nails.

I hate dirty ears. If the guy has earwax, I will notice immediately and it makes me gag! I would never be able to date someone who doesn't clean his ears regularly.

Long fingernails and dirty/too long/unkempt hair.

Looking at my body instead of my face. Use of vulgar or profane language. Intoxication or drug usage. Evidence of poor personal care habits.

So there you go, men. The women have spoken. Basically if you smile and don’t stink, you have an ‘in’. Conversely, if your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired, you can forget it. Now go wash your hands, get a hair cut, use a q-tip, brush your teeth and smile pretty for the babes! ]]> http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/attraction-is-it-worth-it.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/attraction-is-it-worth-it.html Fri, 02 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0700
One day, you're running household errands after work and notice a male co-worker. He comes up to you and asks you to join him for coffee. You accept and the two of you talk and laugh. You then exchange email addresses and next thing you know, you're looking forward to talking with him again and maybe even liking your job a little more.

Weeks go by, and the excitement ebbs just a little as you begin to feel guilty and confused. You begin to have obsessive thoughts as your co-worker wants the two of you to have sometime alone. Your wandering if he could bring you the happiness that's lacking in your home life, if the grass is truly greener on the other side.

What do you do?

You're Only Human:

It's human nature for you to know that you're desired or loved and wanted. Of course, some are just plain addicted to the feeling of excitement one gets while going through an attraction with another person other than their partner. Insecure feelings and lack of self confidence can make a person think and sometimes do regrettable things when receiving attention from another. In fact, 274 out of 703 people are lacking intimacy altogether from their partner. Most people yearn for passion in their lives almost more than they want or need money. The media puts great emphasis on it through internet, movies, television, radio, magazines and books. I can't count how many times I've read a juicy romance novel and wanted to pummel my husband with it as he was sacked out on the sofa.

Paying The Piper Of Desire:

Desire with love is over rated and misunderstood everywhere and many relationships are torn apart by perceptions of what a person thinks they need to fill a void in their life. They'll practically sell their souls for romance, passion, desire and excitement. Something that their partner can't or won't give. But then, most never communicate with their partners about what they need so how can they know that they can't get it? The few that have discussed their needs and wants with their partners still don't receive it which momentarily justifies their actions. Very rarely does either party gain anything but guilt and even self-loathsome. Not to mention, what others feel and think about them when they choose to act upon their attraction or infatuation.

Phase In...Phase Out:

Infatuation is a strong, foolish, yet transitory, attachment to someone or something. Attraction is similar but less worded. In a survey I conducted, the average person that experienced attraction or infatuation was in the thirty-something category. Many people, especially women, go through an extreme transition at this stage in life. Primping in the mirror and finding the crows feet forming or the laugh lines. Looking back to see what has been accomplished and what hasn't. Wondering what's out there. We all go through it and it does take a toll on our self-esteem.

Use It Or Lose It:

Personally, infatuation over someone other than your partner can actually put spark into a stale relationship. According to my own survey, 19% said that their relationship and feelings with their partner were positively stronger after their infatuation with another. On the other hand, 31% said it never changed their relationship at all because they never told their partner and never acted on their feelings.

Most people do make the undeniable mistake of acting on their infatuation while otherwise committed to another. Out of 294 males, 124 have cheated on their partner and 122 out of 326 females did the same. Approximately, 30% of my personal survey takers advise others in similar situations to “be careful” because “it's not worth it” or “recognize the attraction for what it is and don't read more into it.” On a positive note, 37% of those that took the survey did not act upon their attraction.

Is This Love?

The definition of love is, a feeling that animates a person who is devoted to, and sincerely fond of another person or thing that they desire actively. No wonder so many confuse infatuation and attraction with love! The similarities are quite evident. But the key words are “devoted” and “desire actively”. Love for another is long-lasting, a more grounded feeling than infatuation or attraction. None of the situations mentioned in my own survey resulted in love or marriage with the other person. Although, 44% resulted in a serious, sexual relationship but neither case ended up as just a one-night-stand. For the most part, 27% say that it's just a memory that they'd rather forget. And only 27% hope to see that person again.

Rewind And Redefine:

So why are most of us so hell-bent on the excitement of infatuation or always wondering if the next person is “the one” even though we are already in a commitment? It's all about ourselves. What we're not getting and refuse to ask for and give in return. How we feel about or see ourselves through another's eyes. Our boredom with a current situation. Not to mention, some of us are just thrill-seekers and taboo-addicts.

Recently, I came upon a quote from SavvyMale.com on attraction.

“We go to the garden to look at the flowers, not the weeds.
People are attracted to different looking flowers. But even some pretty flowers stink once we try to smell them.”

In my opinion, the moral of this quote is, physical attraction is important at first. Only when we attempt to explore more qualities will we know if a chemistry exists and most of the time it doesn't. However, if we are already committed to another, we can still look at the pretty flowers; just leave them alone. Instead, share your feelings of their beauty with your partner and cultivate your own beautiful garden as a couple. There's a greater chance of your grass being the greenest of all.

© Audrey King 2005 ]]> http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/are-you-attracted-to-the-wrong-sort-of-man.html http://www.relationshiprepair.net/articlems/attractions/are-you-attracted-to-the-wrong-sort-of-man.html Fri, 26 May 2006 00:00:00 -0700
According to Hypnotherapy specialist Roderick Piggott, women who experience a series of broken and unequal relationships, are often suffering from issues of low self-esteem and poor self-image. This causes them to choose the wrong partners again and again.

Low self-esteem can really impact negatively on a persons quality of life, making them feel that they don’t deserve love and respect and are not fit to enjoy a proper, fulfilling relationship. Motivation levels can sink, leaving them feeling low and robbing them of any enthusiasm.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, you blame yourself for things that aren't your fault; you underestimate your abilities, and you expect things to go wrong for you. Often, low self-esteem is associated with a range of other problems, such as lack of confidence, depression, anxiety, stress and jealousy. If you feel that your opinions and thoughts are worthless, you will find yourself unable to connect or communicate effectively with others, which can become a real issue. This can be picked up by partners, leading to a shift in the balance of a relationship, turning it into something that is unequal and disadvantageous to the weaker partner. Frequently this leads to an abusive relationship and often the cycle is repeated many times.

It simply may not be the “wrong” man that you choose, it is very probable that a partner will become frustrated and lose respect. Attitudes then change taking the relationship off course.

There are many things that might happen in life that can cause low self-esteem. It could be a traumatic childhood, maybe a respected figure in your life belittled you, perhaps failure at a career or at school, or even a lack of social life or friends. Whatever the causes, it is important to try and get your life back on track and get over these feelings of worthlessness for the sake of yourself and those around you. These negative emotions can reflect in everything you do and say, and can start to affect your whole life.

Women who realize that they need self-esteem help are often too embarrassed to admit to anyone that they have a problem, however many sufferers of low self-esteem are benefiting from hypnotherapy treatments at home, which can literally change peoples lives for the better.

Even though you may want to change the way you feel, to be confident in your thoughts and ideas, to have a sense of faith in your own abilities and know consciously that you are worthwhile and respected, your emotional subconscious mind knows different. Your mind goes back to your deepest insecurities, together with the emotions that are held alongside those memories. Your beliefs are accessed. Your conscious and subconscious mind is in conflict. The subconscious mind wins, every time because your emotions rule. You can change your beliefs by changing your emotions. Hypnosis can do this. And it is easy.

Hypnotherapy treatments work in a very natural way, People are constantly capable of change, which can happen more powerfully in an altered state. In this altered state, which we call hypnosis, suggestions to the sub-conscious mind can supply us with the feelings and emotions that go with imagination and creativity to bring about changes within your feeling system, your emotional system, and this can change your values, perceptions and beliefs. It’s what makes hypnosis an incredibly powerful means to achieve your dreams.

Your subconscious mind has the power to end your struggle with your low self-esteem. Your life will improve if you begin to believe in yourself and your abilities, you will feel respected, giving you that extra boost to increase motivation, and your enthusiasm will increase noticeably. Some people say it feels like magic because it is so easy to make powerful changes. Hypnotherapy simply allows you to access the resources you already have in your subconscious mind. ]]>