The Funniest Kiss I Ever Had

Statistics: Submitted by: Admin Article ID: 415 Total views: 674 Word Count: 2604 Rating: 0.33 --Choose-- 0 1 2 3 4 5

It's hard to forget the embarrassing moments in
life. Sometimes they fill you with regret and shame, even complete
disgust. They're so shameful that the bad memory is embedded into
your head and makes you wish it never happened.
But my embarrassing kissing memory doesn't involve
humiliation or shame; in fact, it involves nothing but good memories
and the gratitude that it did happen in a most humorous
and embarrassing way!
The night began innocently enough. I was celebrating
a going-away party with my friends, so obviously it was a very emotional
night. But it was also full of fun and joy, as all of us were having
a great night drinking and partying. I was probably having the most
fun of everyone, as I was at a fantastic lounge in The Big Apple,
the music playing was awesome, and the vibe was just fantastic.

I was prancing around the bar, grooving to the
great tunes at the bar, and, of all things, pretending to be a crab!
So I'm walking around all funny-like, imitating, of all things,
a crab, when I see this gorgeous girl laughing at me. I
was stunned by her beauty and even more by the fact that she seemed
interested! So, full of confidence and more than a few shots of
Jack Daniel's, I walked like a crab up to her: cocky, confident
and...well, not tall, but short. Because, you know, I was being
a crab, right?
So I introduced myself as she laughed and asked
me about my funny "crab walk." To all you guys: This is
a great conversation-starter and attention getter! Who doesn't notice
a guy walking around and dancing like a crab?
I told her that this was just something that came
naturally to me. My mother was a crab, so it's just the way I naturally
walk. Teasing her (a great turn-on), I asked, "Do you have
a problem with my crab ancestry? Huh? Are you racist?"
This provoked a big laugh, and got our meeting
off to a fantastic start. Humor really is a powerful aphrodisiac
that we guys should use to full effect. Ladies, it doesn't hurt
to use some funny lines and body language on guys, either.
So this girl, Melissa, and I chatted all night.
As the night was dwindling, the music got really good, we danced
a bit, and the romantic tension rose. As we were cuddling, she asked
me how crabs kiss. Naturally, this was a great opportunity to be
funny. I had gotten to know her by being funny, so why not escalate
the romance by being funny, too?
"Well," I said, "crabs actually
have a rather fascinating way of kissing. First, they of course
have to assume the natural 'crab walk' position." So I bended
my knees outwards and stooped down like a crab, falling several
inches short of her. This caused a laugh.
"Next," I said, suddenly feeling the
effects of nearly 8 hours' worth of alcohol, "they take the
girls' hands with their pincers." So I grabbed her right hand
in a pincer-like fashion, digging slightly into her skin. She giggled.
Things were getting really good, and I could see
in the sparkle of her eye that she was more than just a little excited.
It was truly becoming a night to remember.
So what happens when you're having the time of
your life, flirting with a gorgeous girl, and getting ideas of how
the night will end?
You do something really, really, really embarrassing,
of course! Guess that's just the way life keeps us in check.
"What happens next?" Melissa asked me
in a deep, flirty voice.
"Well," I intoned in my best impersonation
of James Bond. "Then, we...uh....." I suddenly blanked
out as I felt the unwise mix of Jack Daniel's, Rolling Rock beer,
sangria, and wine hitting my head. I started to stumble, but not
in my entertaining crab manner. This was not deliberate stumbling
like the crab walk--it was stumbling that comes from too much Jack
D's and not enough food and water! Before I knew it, in front of
this hot beauty I was trying desperately to attract with humor and
aplomb...
I dropped backwards on the floor!
Immediately Melissa jumped out of her seat to
see if I was okay. I was a bit out of it, but I didn't pass out.
She rushed to give me water as I turned bright red. This was really
embarrassing...I had totally blown it by looking like a drunk idiot.
All I could see as she bended over to help me and give me water
was my chances of seducing this gorgeous woman slipping away...
Until something amazing happened. She asked me
with a grin, "Is falling backwards on your ass the next way
that crabs kiss?" Suddenly the ominously grey clouds parted
and sunshine began to pass through!
I could have blurted out something stupid and
sheepish like, "No, no, that's not the way they do it...I'm
sorry," or "Man, I really messed up, didn't I?" That
would have completely buried my chances of seeing the romance continue.
But I guess the alcohol didn't totally wipe out my brain cells,
as I still had enough say something witty and funny. I had been
given that one moment when you can either make or break the mood,
and somehow found the words to pass the test: "Actually, it
is. You see, crabs have this ritual where they drop to their floor,
hard on their ass, particularly after drinking much wine, while
the female crab bends over to give the male crab a big, wet kiss
that heals his boo-boo."
Melissa laughed, impressed that I could see the
humor in the situation and not be too embarrassed. If you can turn
a potentially humiliating experience into a funny one girls (or
guys) can laugh about for years, only good things will happen.
And they did. Melissa said, "Well, then I
guess I have to give you a good old crab kiss and heal your boo-boo."
She leaned over and gave me one of the most fantastic kisses I can
ever remember. It didn't last that long, though, because we soon
burst out laughing at how silly the whole episode was. How could
a guy who walked around like a CRAB catch the attention--and the
attraction--of a girl who could have been a model?
By humor, of course. I remember that kiss more
for how much it made Melissa laugh than for the kiss itself. Which
just goes to show you: Funny moments can make a kiss all the more
memorable! Don't be afraid to look at the humor that so-called "embarrassing"
moments contain...you might just find that they make the moment
even more special!

About the Author

To learn more about James Brito and his "How to Be Irresistible to Women" e-book, just click here.

---

Comments

No comments posted.

Add Comment

You do not have permission to comment. If you log in, you may be able to comment.

New Dating Articles
2 users online.