Values – They Determine Our Mission and Our Purpose in Life

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Each person holds their own values and these in turn determine
our mission in life. They determine our purpose in life. They
determine what we feel is important to us. At different times in
our lives, with the different situations we find ourselves in,
certain values are brought more to the fore ground. So at one
stage one value can be more important than at another moment and
thus determine how we are going to react to a given situation.
Because they are so fundamental to the decision making process,
i.e. our behavior, it is important to be aware of the values we
hold.

Our values are the emotions we believe are most important to feel
or avoid. So, they determine what is important to us, what we
care about. Stress comes about when a person is not living up to
his values, when he or she is doing things in life that are not
in alignment with his or her values. Some values are more
important, more dominant to us than others. We are more at peace
with ourselves when we live up to our core values on a consistent
basis. These core values have great influence on all aspects of
our life. So, if a person is suffering with stress in his or her
life, then a value elicitation exercise will be a good exercise
to raise the awareness of what they are not happy with.

As it is so fundamental to a person's behavior it is good
practice to elicit the values early on in the coaching
relationship. This will give you insight into why you do what you
do. As we are beings of meaning it also helps to give meaning to
our existence. You can even start to recognize your true purpose
in life is. Through your values you become aware of your
potential and what contribution you can make to the world at
large.

It is very rewarding to elicit your values as this, without
exception, uncovers a beautiful individual. Values stand for
great positive strengths in each individual. This collection of
positive aspects will show a wonderful unique character. It gives
a feeling of reverence and respect to one's own being. It helps
you to get onto the path called fulfillment.

Fulfillment comes into being when you are living up to your own
values and when you are actively developing your own potential.
You could see your values as your compass. Your values determine
your mission in life. You are more able to engage in the flow of
life when you live according to your values. You are more able to
take positive action, rather than having the feeling of being
tossed around by outer circumstances. So, knowing your values
helps you to determine your direction in life.

As we live in a world of relationships, it is important to
realise that each entity holds it own values, be it another
individual, a company, a country or religion. The reason for this
is that these values determine the behavior of that entity and
this in turn affects our relationship to it. In working together
on a common goal, it is important to be aware of whether the goal
is in accord with the values that are held by each. A successful
company is often a company where the individuals honor similar
values. So, for a company it is important to work towards
bringing together a workforce with a value system that can be
held collectively.

One stumbling block in eliciting values can be language. Words
can have different meaning to different people. So, similar
values can sometimes be described by different words.

Values spur us on to undertake action and fulfil our goals,
dreams and desires. So by being aware of our values we can more
easily generate our motivation to go out and take action to
realise these visions and create our own destiny. All along when
you are developing these wonderful qualities in your life, you
are polishing your awareness of your values as you are living up
to them in your life. This will result in new revelations for you
and this is how I see that we are amassing spiritual goods.
Worldly goods we can not take with us when we pass away from this
life but, to me it seems that the qualities that we develop
during our life time by living a life true to our own nature are
the harvest that we will take with us and share with the greater
good.

One way to find out the values you hold is discussed in my book.

About the Author

"Life Is Wonderful Make IT Happen!" by Dr. Wouter Havinga, "The
brilliance of Dr Havinga is in writing this book from experience
and passion for life. I have read several "improve-yourself"
books; many made no change in my life, though some gave me hope.
This one differs in a colossal way from the rest."  Dr. Havinga's
book is available at http://www.lifeiswonderfulmakeithappen.com .
Dr. Havinga has worked in the substance misuse service and worked
with "Motivational Interviewing Techniques", "Solution Focused
Brief Therapy" and building self esteem and is a life coach and
NLP practitioner.

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