When Someone You Love is An Alcoholic

It's very difficult to understand that someone you love can't stop or control their drinking. It's easy to think it would be as simple to quit drinking as to not buy alcohol anymore or not go to a bar anymore. However, when you are physically addicted to alcohol, it is simply not that easy. An alcohol abuser cannot control their need to drink. They may go through withdrawal symptoms or feel sick if they do not get a drink. They will often go to great lengths to hopefully cover up their drinking so you do not get angry or frustrated with them.

There are many emotions you can go through when you love an alcoholic. Perhaps the person makes you feel angry or resentful. You may feel bitter, confused, lonely, and a rollerciaster of other emotions. The person who is an alcohol abuser may go through wild mood swings - sometimes they are okay and promise to make it up to you or that they will stop drinking, other times they may be verbally or even physically abusive.

There are three important things to remember when someone you love is an alcoholic or abusing alcohol: You didn't Cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. This is difficult for someone who is in a relationship with an alcoholic to understand, because you often believe that you have the power to help the person. You may be able to be supportive if they are willing to try an alcohol rehab program, but you can't force them to stop drinking unless they've decided on their own to stop.

In most cases, for an alcoholic to quit drinking, it will take what is often referred to as "hitting rock bottom". Many alcoholics do not realize they need professional and medical help until something drastic has happened - they're forced to go into a treatment center because of too many DUI's, they end up in the hospital from suffering severe withdrawal or overdosing on alcohol, or life has become so unbearable because of the drinking problem they are willing to try an alcohol treatment center.

There are different stages of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. Depending on what stage the person you love is in with their alcohol addiction, there may be little you can do to convince them to get help.  It is a personal decision on whether you continue your relationship with an alcoholic. Your own happiness and well being is important. In some cases, the best thing for you to do is leave the relationship. This is a very frightening and confusing decision to make, but you have to remember that you too need to take care of yourself. Sometimes this will cause the alcohol abuser to get help and there is a possibility of restoring your relationship at a later date, other times it may be the permanant end of the relationship. If you decide to continue to stay in a relationship with an alcoholic, you must be willing to get help for yourself. Attending al-anon or other family support groups and individual counseling can give you the tools and resources to make sure your life is not also controlled by alcohol.