Relationship Advice Blog Relationship Bliss

There are books written about influencing others to do what you want such as “Get Anyone to do Anything” by David J. Lieberman.

This book is filled with many techniques that you can use in difficult situations to get other people to do what you need them to do.

His methods are based on many years of research into human behavior. He has written a previous book on how to tell when people are lying to you. Dishonesty is an act or actions that will bring an end to any relationship as I have stated in my book, “I’m Sorry”.

I will just briefly present some ideas on how to tell whether or not another person is telling you the truth. This is a problem we all face from time to time, so it is helpful to have a few tips.

If you think his advice is useful, you may wish to check out more about David J Lieberman’s other books on human behavior as well as my book. There are several virtues that I review that are paramount to sustain a healthy relationship.

Many time, You might get the suspicion that the other person is not telling you the truth. Sometimes we feel this suspicion because we are naturally suspicious and have a hard time trusting anybody. But sometimes we are suspicious because we sense that something is wrong, and that the other person is lying to us.

There are nonverbal signs that can suggest someone is lying. Person usually avoid eye contact when they are making up a story. They tend to look down and experience difficulty explaining any details.

David Lieberman suggests that sometimes we can flush out a lie by introducing a made up “fact” related to the other person’s story. Make the “fact” you introduce sound like a plausible story. That means, it sounds as if it could have really happened, but it didn’t. Then watch how the other person reacts.

For example, if the other person says “I was at the Royal Theater for the six o’clock movie” you can say, “I heard on the news there was a big accident outside the Royal Theater just before six.”

If the person was really there, he will immediately tell you, “No, there wasn’t an accident” and will appear quite calm about it.

However, if they weren’t really there, they are likely to become flustered and confused, because they don’t know what to say next. They might say something like “Oh, right, well, that certainly was a bad accident.” If they seem to hesitate and act suspiciously, this will confirm to you that they weren’t really there, because they are trying to come up with another made up story.

I’m not a big fan of this technique because I don’t believe in trying to catch a liar by creating another lie, but sometimes desperate situations cause desperate actions, and this kind of technique can at least let us know what kind of situation we are dealing with.

Many women and men come to my forum at Relationship Advice Forum and want to know if they are being lied to and what to do. I have presented that there are 3 highly connected virtues; love, respect, and honesty. These virtues are interconnected and are negatively impacted when one or more are violated. If your partner is lying to you, he or she will experience difficulty demonstrating acts of love or respect. In some cases, they will just withdraw from you emotionally. This is a guilt response and can indicate they are hiding something from you.

There signs are not always an indication that someone is lying and the best approach one can take when suspecting he or she is being lied to is to be patient and virtuous. Taking the high road is the preferred approach and will produce the best results. Allow for honesty to be the norm in your relationship by hearing the truth and reinforcing honesty even when it hurts. Atonement and forgiveness are part of the healing process and can lead to deeper meaning in your relationship.