Have you heard? The divorce rate is going down. I heard this on the news and discovered that this was due to the economy. Couples are remaining together because they can not afford a divorce. What a sad statement for relationships. Our country is climbing closer to having one out of every two marriages end in divorce. Millions of Americans are filing for divorce. As the divorce rate resumes it’s escalation when the economy recovers in America, dating relationships are becoming more popular.

Social scientists have led us in the wrong direction, as they embrace incorrect solutions to a momentous problem. They are sending forth a message that is misleading pertaining to dating relationships. This message by social scientists will continue to mislead individuals who sincerely want to establish healthy dating relationships, with the hope of embracing an everlasting marriage. In this article, we will explore the truth behind the soaring divorce rate. In our search for a remedy, we are spending billions of dollars annually chasing illusionary solutions.

What guides our quest for the perfect mate. Believe it or not, selfishness is our driving force. We have a grad illusion of the perfect somebody that is mostly based upon our vivid imaginations and desires rather than any objective criteria. We pursue dating and love relationships in an effort to obtain immediate and future gratification from our dating partners. From the very start, couples are setting an unrealistic course that is based upon selfishness and high expectation of their partners. In attempts to make your partners imagination and selfish dreams come true, you go to extreme lengths to fulfill wishes and desires that can not be maintained over time. Hence, you both have set the course for relationship failure based upon each of your desires for instant gratification and all desires met.

You both have essentially provided a misleading representation of yourself, being overly kind, spending extravagantly, being conscious of one’s physical appearance, always appearing truthful, having late night telephone marathons, and displaying a disposition of caring and commonality of interests are commonplace when painting a fairytale picture of deception. Before each of you say “I do”, you have already begun to feel some of the misrepresentation from the other and start to question if the other person is right for you.

Before marriage and during the courtship, both of you need to share your flaws and openly communicate what you really want and do not want in the relationship. The social network sites have contributed to young people buying into the fantasy relationship as you can send imaginary gifts and portray yourself as the fantasy star. Each person in a relationship must understand that passion and desire are not the core virtues in any sustainable relationship.

Parents, clergy, and helping professionals need to promote core virtues of love, respect, and honesty. These virtues are what grounds a relationship and helps it to grow in a meaningful way. The acts of atonement and reconciliation are essential to help couples take responsibility for their hurtful behavior while ever striving to be a loving and respectful people.

Do not let your imagination and desires decide your selection for a soul mate. Let love, respect, and honesty decide this for you. We may turn around the statistics that indicate our marriages are doomed from the start.