Poor Relationship Example
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Jackie was married to William for over 20 years. Their children were both in college and Jackie found herself lost and unfulfilled in life. During the time her children were growing up in the home, she spent her every moment at home with them. She read them a story, said their prayers with them, and held them each night they had a nightmare. She took them to the doctors, made their meals, and helped them with their homework. Jackie also worked a fulltime job, which carried much responsibility. Through the years, she and William had many arguments concerning his lack of involvement with the children. William always claimed to be tired after his day at work and would not go on family activities with the family. William was not someone to yell or criticize anyone. His wife knew William was a safe guy and was not abusive, but she did not feel loved by him since he would not help her with the children or with other responsibilities in the home. Although he recognized her efforts, he did not make any sacrifices for her or the children. Jackie separated from William and she spent her time helping her children when then asked for her assistance. She continued to correspond with her husband and went to those events that honored him. She had an occasional meal with him, some which were made by William. William has now initiated some contact with his children and Jackie has felt better about her new relationship with her husband. Jackie has made many friends who share in her joys and help her to feel appreciated and loved. Jackie does not know if she will divorce her husband or not. She does love and respect him. For now, she is very happy about those people she spends her time.
20 years is a long time not to feel loved and appreciated. It seems that Jackie is happier now being separate from her husband. I say enjoy it, but don’t rush a divorce. She’ll know when its time.
I think part of the problem could of been Jackie, who in her children's formative years spent every available moment with them. William may well have felt neglected emotionally.
I have not read anything in this post that mentioned any form of relationship between Jackie or William that did not involve the children or household duties.Only after they separated does she mention her love for him.
There may be more to this story than written in this post!
Complacency can take the place of passion in any marriage if you're not careful. And they both have to share the blame for this.
If you want that warm fuzzy feeling of being in love you have to give to receive. Again couples tend to get in their own little comfort zones and forget how they acted toward each other when they were dating and wonder where the love went.
Divorce attorneys love people with short term memories like that.
It can be so hard to keep those feelings alive, especially after many years of marriage and raising children as well. We tend to let the children come first and the marriage comes in way WAY behind them…
A long time ago I started journaling with my children which turned into my business http://www.qcjournals.com
my intent was to stay connected with my teenagers but it was transformational for my marriage once I involved my husband. I learned things about him that I never knew even after 18 years of marriage and it created a new intimacy that had truly started to fizzle.
I feel like you get out of your marriage what you put into it. If you are open to the resources that are out there to help then it can only be of benefit.