To hurt rather than to solve
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The National Center for Education Statistics presented in 1993 that more elementary school children (29%) worried about being victims at school than senior high school students (20%). The NCES also reported that 73% of students in assigned public schools and 71% in public schools of choice reported having knowledge that either bullying, physical attack, or robbery was occurring in the school compared to 45% of private school students in 1993. 12% of the students in assigned public school versus 7% in private schools stated they have personally experienced crime or threats in their school. 34% of middle or junior high students were being victimized in school as opposed to 20% of high school students. The statistics showed that 12% of middle or junior high students reported being bullied at school, which was twice the rate of high school students. Students entering high school have the lowest rates of bullying behavior (6%), and worry less about being bullied (20%) than elementary and middle school students. 8% of students in high school presented being personally victimized.
In a public school’s system of discipline, personnel carry out punitive measures when students do not follow rules and guideline. Detentions, suspensions, and expulsions are the main disciplinary measures in this system. There are occasions when a student needs to be protected from another student, especially in extremely volatile situations. In these cases, a student may need to be expelled from the school. Students are not taught coping and problem-solving skills in this type of system. The victim’s anger and frustration can accumulate due to his or her irrational views concerning the problem, which increases the threat of violent acts. The punitive measures do not provide a rational means to resolve conflict and hurt. Many bullies were bullied or are being abused by an adult and have learned to vent their frustrations by making verbal threats and/or by physically attacking others.
If children are not taught the skills of problem identification, negotiation, compromise, and problem resolution, they will not develop healthy ways to manage conflict and problems in life. Do we see parents and other adults physically assaulting one another when things do not go their way? How many parents threaten coaches or hit referees when the call does not go in favor of their kid’s team? Have you ever watched politicians debate?
If we want this trend of bullying to stop, parents, clergy, and mentors of children must teach healthy relationship skills or the divorce rate will reach 100%.