Constructing Your Child's Healthy Sense of Self Esteem

Your child's self esteem is their mental and spiritual foundation. A self-assured child is confident, secure, happy, well-adjusted and successful. They can solve problems that come their way, and it thrives under a loving parent's nurturing care. This comes from patient and parents that are under control of their own deamons.

What are some good ways to built self esteem in your child?
Most importantly, accept your child for who they are, and help them do the same. Teach your child that nobody is perfect, and that everyone makes mistakes. Perfection is not attainable and only leads to added stress and anxiety. This is not to say that you should not have high expectations for your child. Balance expectations with validation and support. Show them how to learn and grow from their mistakes, and let them know that you also make mistakes. Children with high self esteem are able to take lessons from mistakes and apply them down the road. A child with low self esteem become frustrated and resort to self-depreciating behavior, such as calling themselves 'stupid' and vowing to 'never try that again.'
Help your child discover their abilities and talents, and encourage outlets for them to build on and improve them. Praise a child not only for improvements in abilities and skills, but also for the traits they naturally possess.

Encourage your child to make positive choices. Open an honest dialog with your child and discuss the possibilities with them. Children who learn skills for making positive choices when they are younger are well-prepared for the tougher choices they have to make when they are older.

Ensure that you spend lots of quality time with your child, at least once a week. Whether you are shooting baskets or going out to grab a hamburger, take time to talk and keep in touch. If you find it difficult to squeeze in quality time during a hectic week, take the time to talk about things during the drive to school or while they are helping you put the groceries away.

Celebrate your Child's Uniqueness

Just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique in their own special way. Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. Some children are shy, while others are outgoing; some are active, while others are calm; some are fretful, while others are easy-going. As a loving and nurturing parent, it's your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities. Help them to identify and build upon their talents and skills. This may be one of the most valuable ways to demonstrate respect in any relationship.

Allow your child to express themselves through their interests. They may find a creative outlet in theatre, dancing or art, or they may be exceptionally talented in the sciences. Encourage them to embrace what they like to do, what interests them, and what makes them happy. Help them realize that they don't need to worry about being 'like everyone else.'

Teach your child to make positive choices, and praise them for good deeds, behaviors and positive traits they possess. Encourage them to become actively involved in their community, and introduce them to activities that promote a sense of cooperation and accomplishment. Be firm yet fair when handing down discipline for misdeeds or misbehaviors, and make certain the rules and consequences for breaking the rules are clearly defined. Show a cooperative, loving and united front with your spouse when it comes to discipline.

Accept and celebrate your child's uniqueness. Remember that your child is an individual. Allow your child to have his or her own personal preferences and feelings, which may be different from your own.

And finally, encourage your child to be true to themselves by doing the same. Show your child how to make positive choices with the choices you make, and that nobody is perfect and you too make mistakes. Show your child that mistakes can be a great learning experience, and that they should not be ashamed or embarrassed about making them.