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The Apology Writer



I'm Sorry Excerpts
Let's Be Rational
Mental Illness
Trauma
Negative Messages
Codependency and the Enabler
The "Feel-Good" Morality
Being Moral
Meditations 1 and 2
Meditations 3 and 4
Meditations 5 and 6
Meditations 7 and 8
Meditations 9 and 10


Relationship Advice On Kissing
The kiss is one of the expressions of love that couples share passionately in the beginning of a relationship but infrequently use as a means of affection as the relationship becomes stagnant. The kiss continues to be the one act that helps couples to connect emotionally. Please click on the links to learn techniques on how to perform the different kinds of kisses below?

Angel Kiss

Butterfly Kiss

Cheek Kiss

Eskimo Kiss

French Kiss

Hickey Kiss

Hot/Cold Kiss

Neck Kiss

Neck Nibble Kiss

Shoulder Kiss

Upside Down

Vacuum Kiss

Wave Kiss
Trauma

Trauma

Psychiatric illnesses can occur as a result of trauma. Have you ever suffered a traumatic event in your life? People who suffer traumatic life events such as abuse, disaster, abduction, or the ravages of war can also adopt irrational thought processes due to the trauma they experience. This also includes individuals who witness horrific acts such as murder and abuse. Many people who experience trauma also suffer from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Many times they avoid activities, people, and places in their environment that remind them of their trauma. They are consumed with thoughts that the traumatic event will occur again. Their irrational thoughts cause strain on their relationships, many times causing the severance of those relationships. They often lose the ability to gauge who they can or cannot trust. They may either demand too much control of the other person in a relationship or become too passive. This causes them to behave in unpredictable ways in relationships. Many times, children who suffer trauma also have a caretaker who acts in ways that further confuse them and reinforce irrational thoughts and fears.


Raquel was a five-year-old girl who lived with her maternal grandmother. Raquel had been brutally beaten and raped by her mother´s boyfriend when she was four years old. Raquel was receiving family counseling to help her and her grandmother work through this traumatic situation. The family counselor discovered how much Raquel loved one of the cups in the kitchen cabinet. It was an old cup that had the face of Santa Claus on it. The grandmother was outraged at the suggestion that Raquel be given milk in this cup before bedtime. This would mean more work for her and was out of the question. The grandmother also shared her displeasure with the counselor´s suggestion that Raquel be read a story each night before bed. The grandmother stated that she needed her time each night and did not have the time for this.


Medication can help many individuals who suffer from mental and developmental disabilities from acting in aggressive or bizarre ways. Even so, irrational thinking will continue for many people with disabilities. Medications will not address their need to function in social situations, which contributes to the losses that they experience in their relationships. Many become so absorbed by their irrational thoughts that they fail to recognize how their behavior hurts others. This hurt can be subtle in nature and consist of selfishness, disrespect, and dishonesty. The person with the psychiatric problem may demonstrate the need to have others support him, but he does not reciprocate supportive behavior. With irrational thoughts guiding his feelings and behavior, the person with a psychiatric problem will not take the initiative to notice the redeeming qualities of another person and show love. As we saw in the example involving Raquel, a family setting may involve factors that contribute to or reinforce a person´s irrational thought processes.


Copyright 2002 Jay Krunszyinsky

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